Suddenly you wake up. Looking down at yourself you ask, “What the hell happened?”
You don't recognize the person looking back at you in the mirror. It feels like this stranger appeared overnight. How can that be?
Simple. You have been hiding from yourself. Your head has been in the sand. That, it won't happen to me syndrome all of us have until the day we wake up and see ourselves truly for the first time.
The denial you’ve been friends with for so long disappears. Then comes the pain. OMG I’m fat!
Stupidly, when you wake up to the truth you go into hiding again. But this time with shame rather than denial. Well, I know I did. I started to wear baggy jumpers - which in truth makes you look bigger. I didn't notice it at first but I started to STOP living. I would negotiate my weight and wonder how I would “fit” in with the things I would do.
Friends would invite me to theme parks and my first thought wasn't, “Yes!” It was the fear of not fitting into the seats. The same fear was felt when getting onto an airplane.. Will some poor bugger sitting next to me get squished by my fat that has spread onto their seat? Or worse, what if I don’t fit the seat belt and I have to ask for an extension in front of others?
These things can numb you into doing nothing. I know because for a long time I was that person. I stopped living my life. I stopped swimming at the beach because I feared being talked about by all the other people on the beach. I love swimming but for years I’d suffer at home on a hot day, NOT going to the beach.
I can't tell you exactly the moment I changed my perspective. But I did. It was almost like I woke up and realised I was housebound more and more because of what I feared others might say.
I just made a choice not to care. If others don't like looking at my large frame then they could turn away. I wasn't going to pay them any attention. That summer I swam everyday at the beach and I learnt how to boogie board. Size 20, age 35 and going for it hard out!!
All I knew is I wanted no regrets at the end of my life. Being “fat” doesn't define who you are but it will if you choose to do nothing. Being fat doesn't mean I can't be fitter, explore more and live life to the fullest. Did you know you can be fat and still ski a mountain? Travel the World? And pretty much enjoy any activity out there?
The only person who is stopping you, is you!
We are so lucky now that we live in a time where there are more “fat” clothing options! Yes there is still a long way to go but there are great clothes to feel comfortable in. The day I found the clothing brand, Active Curves was like the heavens opening up and a choir started singing. I wear my Active Curves activewear all the time. They help keep everything in place (let's be honest we SO need that!) and the design certainly fits my personality with their cool, bright colours!
So life isn't over the day you wake up and realise you may have increased in girth. :-) It's what you do next! I am big on NOT dieting. I am huge (haha literally) on eating healthier, 80% of the time and slipping up 20%, and I'm big on keeping active.
I love challenging myself - Setting myself goals. Like increasing the weights on the leg press machine. How much can I push myself?
I like trying new things. This month I have been power hooping. I am totally useless at it but boy do I love to try to keep the damn thing up!!! The day I do power hooping successfully I am sure that a choir will surround me and sing my praises.
Get out there girl! I look forward to seeing you out and about on your adventure!
This post was kindly written by the talented Pauline Stockhausen https://www.instagram.com/stoc...